hug a little tighter

With the passing of a dear family friend this past weekend I am reminded once again that, many times, life doesn't turn out exactly how we had imagined. Your children shouldn't die before you. Period. That is how life is supposed to work. That's how we plan it, or should I say how we don't plan it.
Tommy was more like a little brother to me. I remember rocking him when he was a baby, playing Sonic the Hedgehog with him for hours upon hours, I remember watching him learn how to swim and climb the tree that separated our yards. I remember the first time I saw him after I had moved away. He looked so big, so grown up. But, he didn't look that big, he was still the same Tommy that I had babysat so many times growing up. He certainly was not big enough to die. But then again, who is?
The past days I have thought a lot about his mother and father. What would they give to hold him one more time, to hug him, to look him in his eyes and tell him how much they love him? Life is cut short at the most unexpected times. Tommy will forever be loved and missed.
So, remember Tommy tonight when you are putting your little angels down to sleep. Hold them close, let their laughter ring in your ears, sing them just one more sweet lullaby, rock them a little longer, kiss them a little more and never take for granted a single moment that you have them in your life.

7 weeks of fun...week 4

We started off on Saturday with a special breakfast treat at 620 Cafe and Bakery. We never go out to breakfast because, quiet frankly, I make it for dinner at least once a week. Breakfast food is one of Eli's favorites, anything from hash browns to pancakes. So, we thought we would start off our day of fun with breakfast! We, fortunately, got a booth right next to the window and seeing as though it was Eli's special day, two firetrucks happened to park right outside our window. Talk about free entertainment. We let him eat standing up on the booth bench looking outside at the "two big red firetrucks"! Priceless. Truly priceless. His day could have ended there and he would have been more than satisfied.
With the arrival getting closer and closer, Adam and I have been trying to get all the 'active' activities in while I can still partially move my almost unbearably large stomach around! So after breakfast, we took Eli to Ready, Set, Play. It is an indoor inflatable wonderland. We were one of the first ones there and that was a good thing because about 45 minutes after that the bombardment of older, more unruly children arrived!
We stayed for about an hour and Eli was wiped out! His favorite part was this really big slide. He would climb up and then slide down on his stomach! I never would have thought he would have done this on his own but boy was I wrong. He must have gone up and down 15 times before taking a break and moving on to the next thing. Once other kids arrived, he found sanctity in the toddler area where it's secluded from the more rambunctious crowd! We are back in the 'my' stage now and he had a little trouble sharing at first but soon realized that the more the merrier!
Who knows what next weekend has in store???

Ode to a day off!

I had last Monday off of work for MLK day. I could not have picked a better day. The weather was perfect and we took full advantage of it. Eli and I met up with Adam during his lunch at the Arboretum. I packed us a picnic and Eli had a grand time trotting around looking at everything. It was so much fun. I can't wait to have many more special times like this when I am not working!!!

A little note to 'Baby B'

***34.5 weeks

For the baby that's been flourishing inside of me, I just want you to know how excited we are that you are soon coming into the world. As with the birth of your brother, I took some time before to reflect and gather upon the wishes and dreams that I had for him upon entering the world. I have done the same for you.
Thus far, you have been 'uneventful' compared to the pregnancy of Eli. Uneventful in a good way. Although, I have still been sick the duration, it has been manageable. You seem content to grow in your little bubble but have always been one to remind me that you are still there. As the kicks to my ribs, bladder and what I'm sure must be some intestine always remind me of the life growing inside of me. You have given off some pretty fierce contractions since about 8 weeks. It scared me at first but you seem to be holding out for the long run. It should be interesting to see how long you wait it out. As with your big brother, you feel big to me. I, for one, believe this to be a genetic trait but only time will tell what your true size is. I will say that I feel like I am carrying a bowling ball resting on my bladder. I know no other way to describe it. You have been 'low' since day one and remain that way today.
Your daddy and I chose to wait to know what your sex is. For us, it is not about gender. Either way, we will love you the same! The excitement of not knowing has grown in the past weeks and I imagine that will continue until you reach the world. We fluctuate but have not spent too much time wondering what you are as the surprise of not knowing seems so much fun! The outside world swears that you are a girl but then again, that's what they thought about your brother! Whatever the outcome, I am so excited about your impending arrival.I think a lot about your future and what it might hold. The decisions that you will make. The choices that will come your way. I think about watching you grow and become your own individual. I think about everything. But, I plan nothing. The future is in your hands and whatever comes of it, I want nothing more than for you to be a happy, life loving, caring individual. I want this to be your blank slate. Make of it as you wish, follow your instinct.
Know that your father and I are always here for you. To help you, to guide you, to love you. We will offer direction, but never force. We will offer guidance, but never make the choice for you. We will offer strength, but, with time, that will grow from within. We will bring joy, laughter, and tears and teach you what it means to be humble. We will offer enthusiasm about life. I pray that we will be your best teachers. But, above all, we will love you. That love will never fade. It will withstand time.

7 weeks of fun...week 3

Adam and I had great aspirations for this weekends activity. A beautiful Sunday that would have been perfect to spend at Zilker Park. We had it all planned...until 10:30 Saturday night. For whatever reason, Eli woke up. It took us over an hour to get him back to sleep, a very LONG hour. This never happens. Then, at 4:30, he woke up again(a reoccurring trend the past couple of days). Except this time it was in screaming agony. Who knows that it was. Adam traveled this week for the first time in a while and I believe Eli was having some separation anxiety as he would wake up screaming for his daddy to rock him or asking if daddy was home. Whatever it was that caused this excrutiatingly painful night...I hope it doesn't relive itself.
After all that, we decided to spend the day at home with him because everyone was a little tired. It ended up being a lot of fun. He helped Adam finish organizing the garage(yes, the project that was started 5 months ago), we took some pictures with my new backdrop, Eli painted and we enjoyed a wonderful dinner of Thamnak Thai! It was still a good day filled with lots of fun memories!

22 months!!!

I love this age...Adam and I both LOVE this age. Sure, there are tantrums but what could be more fun than having your little man sing you songs while driving in the car or searching for the moon out the window every morning?
I love the language, I really love the language. I sit in a room, for 8 hours a day, with 5 kids and not one of them talks. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. I appreciate every word that comes out of Eli's mouth. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. His language is flourishing and for that I am forever grateful.
So, here we are at 22 months. In another month or so he will be a big brother. The older child. So hard to believe. He will always be my baby. Adam and I sing him a song every night before he goes to bed, it is a song we made up for him when we were establishing his nighttime routine around 3 months. We have sang the same song for him every night since then. Anyways, one part says, "goodnight baby boy..." we realized we had to change it to "goodnight little boy..." He's really not a baby anymore!
Without further babbling...
22 things I love about my little man!
1. The way you remember everything. True to your mama's heart.
2. You are so detailed oriented. You study. You observe. You investigate. A daddy's boy.
3. The other day, I look over and you had nested all of your nesting blocks. Your daddy showed you how to partially do it one time and then the next day you are the master.
4. When you don't like a food you say, "no, no like".
5. You are trying new foods...hallelujah! Just recently; apple, pork sausage, tilapia, pear
6. You "no like" all your old favorites; avocado, veggie burger, yogurt. You have refined your culinary palate!
7. You LOVE letters. Adam and I can spend hours writing letters for you. You know a lot of them(uppercase only). As of now you know; A,B,O,U,M,N,E,X,F,S,Y(receptively and expressively for those curious minds:). When we go in the car, you spot out all your letters and make sure and tell us each and everytime you see one!
8. How when you don't want to get in the car seat you straighten your body like a stick...a really sturdy stick
9. wipes are now "heiny wipes"
10. You think it is SOOO funny when we take off your socks and shoes and tell you how stinky they are.(we can thank your auntie M for the acquisition of this) You now will hold up your foot at various times and say, "mommy smell" or "daddy smell".
11. You love to lift up my shirt and give the baby kisses. You say, "I love you baby" and then say, "night night" and pull my shirt back down...I hate to break it to you but one day soon the baby won't just go night night when you pull my shirt down! :)
12. At night, you never want to put your pajamas on but in the morning you never want to take them off.
13.You just learned how to squat
14. You pretend run by pumping your arms back and forth as if you were running real fast.
15. When something is heavy, you pick it up and while grunting say, "too heavy".
16. You hate it when the sun gets in your eyes, covering your eyes and announcing, "too bright, light too bright". Now you have sunglasses. That has solved the problem.
17. You love anything that goes round and round. Like fans.
18. You tell us 'night night' when you have self-determined that it is time for your nap.
19. You will not walk down the first 5 steps of our stairs until the handrail that you like starts.
20.Every time you go to take a picture, you say, "happy"
21. You are a boy all the way. You LOVE trucks, tractors and trains.
22. You still love to snuggle when the mood strikes. You will give kisses but the latest is extending your arms out and saying, "hug". Melts my heart.

I am so excited about all the next couple of months has in store for us! Your daddy and I love you more than anything and can't wait for the next chapter!

7 weeks of fun...week 2

This weekend, it is finally cold again so we decided to take Eli to Jungle Java. It is an indoor playscape with a coffee shop. There are always kids there and Eli has a blast. After that, we decided to go buy him a hat, new pair of sunglasses(his were accidentally left on the car), and a outfit for his upcoming birthday! So, we went to the outlet mall and he got to do another one of his favorite things...

Bring it on 33 weeks!

The end of 32 weeks of pregnancy was the start of something much more miserable. It is hard to be negative when with Eli, I was stuck in the hospital on full bed rest, being pumped full of some life-altering medication at this point in the pregnancy.
However, it has started, the truly miserable part. The, my jeans are too small, my ass is too big, my shirts look like crop tops part. The, my stomach can't possibly stretch anymore, it's hard to tie my shoes, it's difficult getting up from a seated position on the floor, my bladder feels like it's gonna explode part. The, I can only eat in incredibly small portions, it's difficult to drive, I have to walk around rather than trying to fit through, am I really still nauseous part. The, I want everything down now, things must be bought, nothing is satisfying, why can't I sleep part.
However, on the other hand, this is the most exciting part. The, everything is coming together, put the baby seat in the car, get the hospital bag packed part. The, Eli is going to be a big brother, we are going to be blessed with 2 children, our life is going to change once again part. The, bi-weekly/weekly doctors visits, the kicks that can leave you breathless, the baby is going to just jump out any second part. The, will it come early, will it be a boy/girl, will it be big/small part. Yes, this is the exciting part.
Whichever way you look at it, it's still a miracle and this little bundle of joy is still hanging in there. I look forward to WHATEVER the next 7 weeks has in store...

7 weeks of fun...week 1

Adam and I decided that until the baby was born(7weeks) we would pick 7(or more) fun things and do at least one of them every weekend. Since Adam and I both work, the weekends are always centered around our little man. However, we wanted to pick some extra special fun things that we knew he would really enjoy.
Our first adventure was a weekend filled with Eli's favorite playscapes(3 to be exact) and a special trip to get his first ice cream shake.

Welcome 2009!

Our last family photo of 2008!

Happy New Year!
Every year I write resolutions. Granted, sometimes they don't get truly written until a couple of weeks after the actual New Year but nonetheless they are written. Looking back over last year, I accomplished many of my goals but there are some that I still aspire towards. They will be the 'leftovers' on this years list. The concept to me is not about accomplishing EVERY single thing that you write about but rather to make yourself a better person. To improve on you. So, here it goes:
1. to quit my job. to find part time if available. But if not, to take the sign from god and become a PRODUCTIVE stay-at-home mommy. Productive being the key word because my biggest fear is that I will be a lay-on-the-couch and watch my kids play kinda mom and that is not what I am looking for...
2. to get my photography business up and running. this includes, but is not limited to, getting my website up and running and the way that I want it, business cards/logos developed and printed and to purchase the two additional lenses that I need to add to my collection. kind of a Catch 22 with goal #1 but it is possible
3. to continue on with the Dave Ramsey philosophy of living debt free and to master baby step 2&3. Thus also a Catch 22 with goal 1&2 but possible nonetheless.
4. to have dinner ready so that we can all eat together. this is very difficult for me.
5. to properly train for and complete another full marathon by Feb. of 2010
6. to keep my house cleaner. cleaner being the operative word because really I would be happy with just a baby step in this direction. I think I will just leave this with ALL the floors being clean, including the stairs.
7. to finish painting the inside of the house...trim and all
8. to get the backyard up and running because I know it has the potential to be a very fun family spot.
9. to spend quality time with the hubby. this includes, but is not limited to, going to at least 2 movies this year(a difficult task to accomplish), have an exciting day outing with just the two of us, or just sit back and relax in the comfort of our own home.
10. to have Eli moments once a week. Notice moments, not time. To cherish him as much as we do now when Baby B comes. To take time everyday to have special moments with him but to dedicate time every week for a special moment that I am sure he will enjoy.
11. to raise Baby B with less angst and anxiety than I had with Eli. To go with my gut, follow my instincts and know that in the end, it will all turn out. To cuddle that little bundle of joy for the first 2 weeks(of course all the time but I am talking ridiculous amounts of cuddling!) and know that schedules can come later and should colic arise again, I will need those moments to help me through:)!
12. to be the best mommy that I can be. to make the most out of every time that we spend together. to be hands on. interactive. to not sit back and watch but rather to engage. to teach. to discover. to learn together. to try new things. to not be afraid. to not worry. but, above all, to love and to count my blessings everyday for the wonderful lives that have been placed in our hands.

Adam and I before dinner that evening.