Just in case...

you need a good belly laugh!!!

Just a taste...

of what's to come!

**And by that I am not referring to the food smeared all over his face!

sometimes...

There are times where I become super paranoid. Not your normal "parent paranoia". I have the extreme...the "I know too much".
For those that might not know or those that might not know enough about what I do. I teach children, ages 3-5, with severe autism. My students fall into the severe range; they have limited or no verbal communication. They cannot, in "normal means", express their wants/needs. They must be taught even the most simplest things. We work a lot on potty training, self feeding, eye contact, and other daily skills that we take for granted. They do not come 'wired' with the skills to learn how to play on a playground, we spend hours and hours teaching how to use playground equipment. Things that are enjoyable to typically developing children mean nothing to my students. They are either on sensory deprivation or on sensory overload. They are in a world where no one understands them. They face more obstacles on a daily basis than most would face in a lifetime.
I learn more from my students than from anyone else. They teach me to enjoy the simple things. To take time and appreciate the wind blowing in your face. Even though they can't communicate verbally with me they express themselves more than anyone I know. They challenge me to think outside of the box. My students keep me going. I always want more for them, I so desperately want them to be happy and self sufficient.
Where you ask am I going with all this??? There are times when I, as a parent, know too much. I worry for Eli...What if he has this?? Why can't he do that?? When will he ____???
I find myself in a constant struggle where my knowledge sometimes outweighs my gut. Sometimes, naivety is a strength that I wish I had. I spend so much time embedded in the lives of my students that when I come home it is difficult for me to separate and be a mom...He's crying, he won't eat, he won't drink from a sippy cup, etc... Many of these characteristics that your typical infants have remind me so much of the students that I teach.
Thus the fine line between being a parent and a teacher. In my heart, I long for my students parents to experience the joys I have of raising a "typically developing child". On the same note, I long to be able to forget what I know and experience the joys of raising Eli. Sometimes I worry so much that I miss the little things... I am then reminded of my students parents and what they would give to relive their child's life in a "typically developing" way...

NOOOOOO...not again...

Mom, not another ear infection!?!?!?!?!?

I remember...

Like every month that passes, the time comes all too quick. A year already?!?!I want to say that I don't remember what he was like as a wee little one.
However I, all too much, remember the sleepless nights, the constant feeding, the reflux, and above all, the colic.
I also remember giving birth to him. I remember the doctor telling me it just wasn't going to happen...he was too big. I remember being pushed into the OR and wondering if everything was going to be OK. I remember when he was pulled out and gave out his first cry. I remember the first time I realized I was a mother. I remember wondering how a 10 pound child grew inside of me.
I remember the pregnancy and all the nights spent in the hospital hooked up to monitors and IV's. I remember crying because I didn't think I could take it anymore. I remember being on bed rest for months. I remember wondering if my body could handle the stress of losing 40 pounds and carrying a healthy child.
Yes, all these memories play over and over again in my head every night. These memories keep me alive, they keep me humble, they keep me thankful. Through everything, we survived. Adam and I are still married(and still in love for that matter). We have a happy and blessed family and the strength that it takes to survive anything. Above all, we have the most wonderful son anyone could ask for.
Every morning I wake up to his little cries. I run into his room to see him sitting there sucking his thumb. Every morning I am blessed. Everyday I am reminded of the past. I am reminded how much I have learned, how grateful I truly am. Everyday I am reminded of a new beginning. Everyday I am reminded that I was put on this world to teach my son. Everyday I love him and tell him that, no matter what, he has his family. This year I have learned the strength in family.

rained out...

Go figure that I would take a half day off of work for Eli's one year pictures and they would get rained out. We really wanted to take some outdoor pictures because that is where he loves to be. Well...we are rescheduled for the 18th and Adam will have to take him without me... It turned out well because I got hit with some bad allergies/cold and even stayed home from work today!
Here is a cute little video of him "walking", I am sure many more will follow soon! If you listen over my annoying voice you can hear his little shoes squeaking!

long time no blog...

Check out my new kicks!!!

Here is my puffy cheek/semi smile!

What a handsome little fellow!

We have been busy around here these past couple of weeks. I am so looking forward to spring break and a little R&R.
Eli, as always, has been a busy little guy. He isn't officially walking yet but just cruising around. He will take about 8 steps just holding one of our hands. He takes the occasional one step on his own but I think it is more accidental than anything. He can balance on his own but sometimes lacks the confidence to do it often. I got him some little shoes that squeak when you walk and another pair called pedi-peds and he likes both of them much better than his other stride-rites.
We got him a "little" kitchen for his birthday and we gave it to him as soon as it came in. That has been keeping him occupied for the past couple of weeks! He opens all the doors and drawers and loves it when he finds hidden surprises in them. I say "little" kitchen but this thing is the Rolls Royce of luxury. It has "granite" counter tops, stainless steel appliances that make realistic noises, a light above the kitchen sink, and various other cool things.
His 7th tooth finally broke and thank god. However, he is still left with the other 5 that he has been cutting for months now! Teething is a never ending thing...I always thought that one or two came in and then a couple of months later some more came in... but around here it is a continuous thing.
Tomorrow we are taking him for his one year photos with a new photographer that I found. www.carriebiggarphotography.com I think her stuff is really cute so I can't wait to see how they come out!